The Underground War
by Ces-Kirby
Summary: It's about the Tallest and the war Irk never knew about. The Tallest just ACT like bestest friends, but really they're worst of enemy's. When Red finally gets revenge on Purple with the help of Zim, the cast of Lilo and Stitch get involved to help Purple.
1. Sour Nachos

The Underground War  
  
Woot look at me go I'm writing again! Well this story has been brought to you by: WRITTERS BLOCK! Yes writers block, we all hate it and this is my way of trying to kill it so I can go back to my story! Also I noticed there aren't enough Tallest fics out there so I am making one! I've had this idea for a while now. It was inspired to actually write it by this REALLY awesome fic that you can check out here: Before They were Tallest, so thanks EchidnaHazard for your inspiring me to write fics again! Also, there are not enough Red fics. Most are Purple as the hero so Red fans this is for us! * hugglez Red and Wally *  
  
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! NADDA! SoooooOOOoooo don't sue me! I don't even have the money for a lawyer and I really don't want that on my record k? So Jhonen Vasquez owns Invader Zim. We like him. Yes we do. Be kind to him. And me, don't sue me. Review if you want and I can take criticism. I hate arrogance. Ignore spelling and grammar and suck because in life: there is no spell check and I just don't give a damnz. Wow that was lame but you get the idea! Anyhow, on with the story! Oh, by the way, flashbacks (probably be a lot of them) will be script like, i.e. like camera motions and who says what, while the rest of the story will be in story form. Why? I wanna try different writing styles and it adds more dooky huh? Oh and later on the cosmos will collide and I will make this into a Lilo and Stitch crossover.. spooky no? HOW does it work you ask? Well the dude who plays Tallest Purple * hugglez Purple * Kevin McDonald, also does the voice of Agent Pleakley. It will be based off the show than the movie. ENJOY THE MADNESS!! OOHHH dear god a Lilo and Stitch crossover with Invader Zim? What crack am I on? Hehe I just kid, I'm not on crack. Not yet anywho. But since Kevin McDonald does the voice of Pleakly in Lilo and Stitch, it's scary how well it works. So in the later chapter's Lilo and Stitch will appear yay!  
  
***  
  
Look at him, just look at him. Staring at me are two oval royal purple eyes. Trying not to wince I stare back at him. Ten minutes. We have been at this battle for ten freakin minutes. He's good, but he's not going to win. Ooohhh no I have prepared too much for this. I can feel the workers staring at us, possibly questioning our sanity. Which is bad, if they question our sanity, they question your authority too. But anyone who says anything about it will be thrown in the air locks before they can say dooky. My back aches from arching like this for so long. I hate staring contests, but Purple must not win, at any costs, and being the moron he is this is his favorite "game". But games for us are really wars, I can't let him win. My eyes are getting watery from staring at one spot for so long. I know he's planning something against me, he always is. Always has. And the worst thing about it is we can't show it. We have to put on this best bud's, almost brother act for the sake of Irk.  
  
It all started way back when Tallest Spork, rest in peace, got killed by Zim and Purple and I both became Tallest's in his place. I remember it as if it were yesterday.  
  
(fog fills the scene to show a flashback and a younger version of Red and Purple are shown eating nachos in a local food court with a big crowd. mmm nachos, anyone else get a craving for them? Camera zooms in to Red and Purple to hear what they are saying, cuz, we're nosy like that.)  
  
Purple, in between mouthfuls of nachos: so, what did you think of the ceremony for Tallest Myuki's funeral? I can't believe they let Zim get away with it! After all, he's caused Myuki's death! I can't believe they let him live.  
  
Red sighs: it was sad. What else was there to say? ::grinning slightly:: I wonder what it'll be like being Tallest. Too bad she's dead, she was kinda hot, for a Tallest anyway.  
  
(Purple sighed and rolled his eyes ignoring his friends last statement, it was well known Red had a crush on Tallest Myuki. ) oh come on, everyone in the Academy knows you'll be Tallest, and I'll be the Second.still, I wish there was a way we can BOTH be the Tallest.  
  
(With this, Red spit out his nachos over Purple's face and bursted out laughing, rolling on the floor to be exact. Purple looked at him in discontent and wiped the chewed up nacho slush off his face with his sleeve)  
  
Purple: what's so funny? I'm serious. I'm almost as tall as you, another growth spurt and I WILL be as tall as you. It'd be fun!  
  
Red ( now glaring): FUN? Don't you DARE take this dream away from me Purple! * pokes his chest * I worked too damn hard for this dream Purple. Training every day, you think I wake up at 5 in the morning for the hell of it? I aced the physical examination, the obstacle course the -  
  
Purple: but you failed the academic tests! I aced those! Come on Red, I'm just as qualified as you and you know it. You've got the muscles and I've got the brains. We're a good team!  
  
* That was too much. Red's eyes narrowed at him and threw the remainder of his nachos at his face *  
  
Red: TEAM? Tallest RED, Purple, is how it's going to be after we graduate! Not Tallest Red and Purple! There's no such thing as TWO Tallests! You'd better pray you don't grow Purple. My own bestest friend betray me. * GLARAGE * how could you.you..you JERK!  
  
* Purple gasped at his last insult with nacho cheese dripping from his anteenas but didn't seem to care. Jerk was the biggest insult on Irk, besides calling someone a Zim. His antennas dropped in surrender wishing he had never said the idea *  
  
Purple: RED come on it was just an idea! Wait come back!  
  
* But it was too late, Red was already gone, leaving his ex-bestest-friend dripping in nacho cheese in humiliating defeat *  
  
(spooky fog disappears and a "15 minute later" sign appears on the bottom side of the screen. The two Tallests were still staring at each other in a spooky, unnatural matter )  
  
Glaring at him I knew he had to give up sometime. No way he can stare at that forever. Smirking evilly, I put a tray of nachos in front of him, without breaking my concentration. He smells the air and unable to resist the cheesy doom of nachos, he grabbed at them, crowning me the winner of the battle. I smirk at him slightly.  
  
"I win."  
  
I told him. And his look of horror was the sweetest victory ever. Yawning I check my watch and smile and crack my neck. Time to go home. Standing up I look at the workers. They were staring at us slightly horrified. I smiled at them reassuring and looked at Purple with a fake smile to show that we were 'friends'. Holding out my hand I offer a handshake 'to show no hard feelings'. Purple stared at it for a little while and sighed, reluctantly shaking it. He winced in pain as I made a point to shake it as hard as I could and cause him pain. It was as a sweet victory. The workers nodded in reassurance and go back to work, once more having faith in their Tallest restored. I glare down at Purple who quickly glares back and turn around to start towards my living quarters when he stood too.  
  
"Hey Red."  
  
He called at me. I turn around to see what that fool wanted. But it was too late. As soon as I turn around I scream as he hurls the very nachos I used at him zooming at my face and before I could do anything to stop it they collided with my face, the irony was far from amusing. I gasp in shock and wipe them off quickly and growl at them. Purple busted out laughing, and it would have been a comical sight if I weren't the victim.  
  
"Hey nacho boy!"  
  
He mused at me and the workers were cracking up along with Purple. I shoot all of them a glare but they seem not to notice and continue laughing, Purple laughing the loudest. I glare at him the most and turn around and storm out of the main control room with the echoes of laughter ringing through my head in a haunting matter. Oh how he will pay for this humiliation! Oh how he will pay.  
  
Walking down the halls there is no one there but the typical guards at post. Looking down as I walk I try to get the nachos out of my antennas but it useless. Nothing but cleansing gel will get this stuff out. I think back to how this all started and sigh, half wishing it never began. Back to the days when we really were best friends instead of acting like it. But Purple started it, and I plan to end it. {dun duh dun!}  
  
(Another flashback to Spork's time. It has just been a few month's since Spork became Tallest. Red, Purple, and Zim were still in the academy for training. Red and Purple were in politics, and Zim as we know was in training to be an Invader. The students are all in line to enter the great hall, much like the room in the first episode for the great assigning. They are in line to be measured in height by Tallest Spork and the second in command, Vas. Neither Red nor Purple spoke since their fight the other day about Purple's impressive rapid increase of height, so he neither dare told him, or had the heart to tell him that he grew again. Not only did he grow again, but now he was the exact same height as Red, how can you tell someone like that news like that? Purple glanced at Red nervously as the line died down and it was nearly their turn. Red smiled and stood upon the platform proudly and stood before Spork and the Second. The Second smiled down at Red as Spork spoke)  
  
"Ah Sir Red, I hope you will keep your outstanding records of your height so far."  
  
Red nodded proudly. "I believe I have my Tallest. it's an honor."  
  
Purple rolled his eyes in the crowd since Red was never the dramatic type but Spork nodded not seeming to notice.  
  
"Indeed it is.. my Second, please measure Red for us."  
  
The Second bowed lightly and held a long meter stick up to Red. But this meter stick was electric so there were no mistakes, and it recorded the height records to the control brain right away, a very handy and important tool. Vas walked over to Red who seemed calm as if he did this every day and smiled.  
  
"As predicted Red is the tallest of this class with a height of (gasps for dramatic effect) 6.4 feet. Unusually tall for someone your age Red, congratulations."  
  
Red smiled and bowed lightly "Thanks." He smirked at Purple and got off the stage. Purple gulped nervously and approached the second in command. Like Red the electrical meter stick was placed beside him. The second's eyes widened and gasped for real this time.  
  
"No, I don't believe it!"  
  
Both Red and Spork raised an eyebrow at him.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Spork demanded, and the second in command turned around stunned.  
  
"Purple's height.. is.. is.. 6.4! The exact height that Red is! This has never happened before.. Not at this kind of height! Oh it's very common if they were smaller, but. but this is unheard of!"  
  
There was great murmur among the crowd of students watching them. Purple smiled nervously at them then at the Second and Tallest Spork. His gaze fell at Red and his antennas dropped seeing the look of hatred he had given him. Purple looked down at the floor sadly, he didn't want any of this. He wanted Red to be 6.4 and him to be 6.3. Red the Tallest and he the Second.just like Red's dream. But now this was a nightmare. Would this disqualify them? Would NEITHER of them be the Tallest? He gulped at this and looked at Red who was still glaring at him. Spork and the Second were talking among themselves for what seemed like hours and the students slowly left the auditorium as they were dismissed. Purple watched as Red walked off with a quick brisk of anger with the rest of the students, leaving him alone on stage, the spotlight still locked on him. He frowned as Spork and the Second eventually walked out as well neither of them said a word to Purple. Purple groaned and sat on the stage, even when the lights went out. He laid down there on the stage all night, not even getting up for dinner. He knew Red would be furious and didn't even want to see him. Red was known to be aggressive when he was angry, and Purple found that out first hand many times.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well that's the first chapter!! What do you think? How do you feel about the flashbacks, should I keep the style or do it more traditionally? Please review, I can take criticism, actually I prefer it. I hate arrogance with a passion.mmm yep. Oh and fellow Dib fans, do not fear, he will be in later chapters! 


	2. The Changing of Friendships of doom

Chapter two: Changing of Friendships (of doom)  
  
Aye, it's me again! Chapter two is in pursuit, Lilo and Stitch cast (sadly no crew) will probably show up next chapter or so. Yay! Sorry it's been so long if anyone really missed it, I've had writers block major. Anyway, I still don't own Invader Zim, Jhonen Vasquez still owns it. Nick is the producers. I also don't own Lilo and Stitch, all characters and trademarks belong to Disney. Evil capitalist scum! Anyway, enjoy!  
  
And now a thanks to my reviewers! This is a little bribe to keep you reviewing ;) : dekujama, thanks for the review! Yea sorry about the changing of the speaking thing, I tried to have that different to show it was a flashback, but I guess it didn't work. Ah well no harm in experimenting huh? Ashsema! Glad you liked it, I thought it was complete crap so thanks so much! Yes I agree, friendships are fickle like that aren't they? And I pictured Red as being VERY stubborn and tried to be "macho" anyway he could. And also having an ego as tall as he was! So naturally he felt threatened by Purple's growth spurt and became jealous. Poor Red. Cinn, Zel, and Zir, thank's for the reviews my friends! I will probably be asking for help before long Zir, so thanks for the offer!  
  
A few month's later, and no conversation from the two ex-bestest best friends, the alarms sounded once again as Zim killed, yet another Tallest. Red and Purple looked at each other nervously wondering what were going to happen to them. There was an announcement made by Vas calling Red and Purple to the control room. Red and Purple got up quickly and ran to the main control room looking up at Vas with anticipation. He gazed down at them and frowned.  
  
"Hello boys, as I'm sure you've herd, Zim killed Tallest Spork, a tragic death. Zim got into the zoo and let all the animals loose, a giant Trog got loose and trampled Spork twitched as he remembered anyway, he said that if anything should happen, he wants you two to be Tallest. He said you two make a great team and are perfect for Irk."  
  
Purple gave Red a little 'I told you so' look, but Red looked outraged.  
  
"Forgive me my second, but did you say BOTH of us are to be Tallest?"  
  
Vas nodded and thus the reign of the Tallest Red and Purple began. They were given one more day of being 'normal' Irkens then a full day of ceremonies, including the very painful removing of three fingers one to prove to Irk that the planet could be ruled with only two fingers, showing superiority of the Tallest, and the rest of the Irken race. This was tradition; it has been around since before Muyuki's legion.  
  
For the last day of being normal, it was miserable for Purple. Red still wasn't talking to him, and giving him more of a cold shoulder then ever before. Purple has received the silent treatment since the day the world found out Purple was the same height as Red. Oh he'd do anything to change it, anything. But the truth was, he couldn't. Sighing, Purple walked about the ship all by his lonesome self-pretending to look happy because everyone was congratulating him. A few people who attended the academy and were close to Red (though not as close as he used to be) glared at him and gave him the cold shoulder. Finally he found an empty lounge and sat down on a round chair, much like the one's Dr. Evil uses, and stared out into space looking depressed.  
  
Red didn't care that Purple was missing for three hours. He didn't care that Purple wasn't at dinner, or that he was at the room when he went to bed. Why should he care? That jerk betrayed him after all. He specifically told him he didn't want to rule together, and then he goes off and grows a few feet. It's impossible, hmpf, some "growth-spurt". Irkens just don't grow two feet within a week! But maybe he genetically altered his height? Red grinned evilly at this intriguing idea. If he can investigate into this and prove he's rightfully Tallest, he can rule Irk by himself, and Purple would be sent to their prison planet; Vort! Red quickly ran into the selected research lab that had all the secret files. No one dared to stop a soon-to-be-Tallest. He grinned and looked up at the main computer.  
  
"Computer, list all of Purple's last medical records within the past year."  
  
A beep of confirmation could be heard and then all of Purple's medical records showed up. Red searched for hours and scowls, as he found no evidence, which could only mean one thing, Purple's height was legal. This frustrated Red very much and sat down in frustration not knowing what to do, he guessed there was nothing to do but to get a well deserved nights rest.  
  
The next day the both soon-to-be-Tallest woke up feeling upset. Purple was still hurt that Red was angry at him, and Red was still angry at him for trying to take away his lone glory. On top of that, Red was tired, and no one wanted to be around him when he was tired, that is, if you wanted to live. The two Irkens were rushed up to the royal changing rooms of doom, where they were to be gowned for the first time in the traditional Tallest robes. Red's eyes narrowed as his and Purple's eyes meet, Purple quickly looked away.  
  
"Red, I'm...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to grow..."  
  
Red scoffed. "Pft, yea right. Just give it a rest ok Pur?"  
  
Purple sighs and nods. Red could be so thick headed sometimes, well, most of the time. After what seemed like hours the two emerged from the changing rooms and scowled at their new uniform. Red very much preferred the Irken invader uniform, and Purple missed his casual cloth's of being a scholar. And now, the ceremony was about to begin.  
  
Crowds of Irkens that traveled across many galaxies just to witness the Ceremony, were gathered around the great hall, the room where the Great Assigning was held many years into the future. As soon as the room was packed as it could be, an announcer's voice came over the PA system.  
  
"Ladies in gentlemen, wiggle your antennas in salute for the ceremony is about to begin! Afterwards spend all your monies on useless but cool STUFF of Red and Purple!"  
  
The crowd roared with cheers as Vas came on stage. He gave the traditional introduction of how Spork died, gave a moment's silence for respect of Spork, and then introduced Red and Purple. After a long list of all their accomplishments, a platform came down with a waving Red and Purple standing on it. The crowd's cheers grew louder, nearly deafening the two tall Irkens. Purple seemed like he was trying to hide his joy, while Red still looked pissed off, and made no attempt on trying to hide his anger. The official ceremony began as soon as the platform landed, and Vas continued his speech. Purple had a glazed look of boredom, while Red pulled out a hand-held game and started playing, ignoring looks of disapproval from his former superiors, and soon to be advisors. The crowd however, didn't mind the two tall one's lack of respect due to their utter boredom. At long last, Vas's two-hour speech and introduction was over. Now the really hard ceremony was about to begin, the removal of their three fingers. It was a ceremony that would change their friendship forever...  
  
--- Well that's it! Sorry it's so short, I just had to get it out and try and defeat writers block! Mmm yep, see you all soon I hope! Thanks again to all my reviewers! 


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